The historic sinking of the Titanic told a totally different story: the life boats were filled with women and children before any men, and the life jackets went to women and children of first priority. What has brought about the erosion of such chivalrous action in our day, and we can also say, moral action taught in the Scriptures? The dishonoring of women and children through the flood of the multi-billion dollar industry of pornography, the evil and violent behavior toward them engendered by the pornographers and those who clamor for their products, the massive sex slave trafficking of women and children, not just abroad but all over America, the proliferating of abortion mills, and the thousands of babies that are slaughtered in the womb every day, every hour, every minute, has been at the forefront of eroding away an essential character trait of any civilized and moral society: the honoring and protecting of women and children. The sexual, physical, and mental abuse of children, mostly in the alleged “safety” of their own homes has produced all kinds of evil throughout the culture to include the explosion of homosexuality in the last century.  America now sends women to fight her wars!  And at the forefront of the defense of all of the above, even if unwittingly, has been the great majority of the Feminist Movement, which has most every male leader running scared to dare stand in its way or of being accused of chauvinism, which is anything that dares question any part of the Feminist agenda. Every governing body, every legislature in the world is still made up of a majority of men, apparently men of weak character, who can find no solution to slow the tide of mayhem on women and children throughout the world.

The protection of women and children in God’s agenda is taught in the Scriptures from the Garden of Eden to the pages of Revelation. Adam failed to protect Eve from the serpent Satan and even tried to blame her for his own sin. God’s instruction for Israel when battle or crisis was imminent was the protection of their women and children. The nurture and instruction and discipline of children were aimed at their protection from the evil of this world and from Satan. (Deuteronomy 6 among numerous texts) The Psalmist expressed God’s desire for men to care for widows and orphans.  Jesus pronounced great judgment on those who would abuse children or lead them astray. (Matthew 18) And the Apostle Peter spoke of women and by proper inference, children, as weaker vessels deserving of honor and protection. Despite all of Hollywood’s fictional attempts to create and depict “Amazon women” the facts overwhelm their fantasies; women by a gazillion percent over men are raped, assaulted, battered, and physically tormented by men. Many men at the Judgment will hang their heads in shame and horror at their utter failure to acknowledge God’s command to honor and protect weaker vessels, women and children, whom He created.

At the Paul Anderson Youth Home we seek to teach the young men God sends us chivalrous manners in order that they might begin to consider God’s concept of what it means to truly be a man!

When you study the life of Jesus, the Son of God, you see a life increasingly beset by persecution at the hands of bullies. They pursued and hounded Him unto death. You can say He was the chief of the bullied. Often we will restrict the term “bullying” to the interaction of children and teenagers, and not to the altercations that take place with “more sophisticated” adults. Yet the unjust persecution of another at any age has the same characteristics as the evil actions of a bully. Ultimately as the anger and bloodthirstiness of the bully remains unabated it leads to murder. He or she simply wants to see the person or persons they are bullying destroyed; note the language in the current political discourse in public and in the blogs.

There are times and circumstances when a child or a person being bullied cannot escape. It persists for months, even years. And when one bully goes away, another (or others) appears. Indeed, being bullied or persecuted is what is promised to the person who takes seriously the claims of Christ and strives to be obedient in his own words, and actions to His commands and example. “Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets before you.” (Matthew 5:10-11)

There is little doubt that such bullying is going on at every level in our modern day, on the playground, in school, in the political arena, in all areas of life in this culture. Parents ought to begin from the time their children are toddlers teaching them about the fallen world in which they are growing up; that they will encounter many a bully in their lifetime, and that they do not want to be a bully themselves. All too often we do not instruct our children in the knowledge of the evil world around them and how one whose Lord is Jesus Christ can and should live in a world of sin and sinners. The first time they are bullied even in their interaction with brothers or sisters is a great opportunity to teach them about the Savior who encountered bullying His entire life.  We do not know about His years from 2-12 or 12 to near 30, but you can be sure that a righteous child and man invited and encountered bullying at every age, and all the way to Calvary’s cross.

The route of true blessing and happiness is to respond to bullying righteously and refrain from the evil of perpetrating it on others. When bullied the righteous response is not vengeance. A bullied child ought to be protected as much as possible by his or her parents and the relevant authorities, but also instructed in the knowledge and example of their Savior.  Jesus gives us the glorious promise that our fellowship and bond with Him is cemented in the crucible of persecution, not unlike His. “But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father in Heaven.” (Matthew 5:44) It is never ever an easy task, but the reward at the end of the journey is worth every painful inch of it.

• Frequent use of the Internet to visit sexually oriented sites
• Binging—hours spent surfing the net or engaged in online sexual activity
• Preoccupied with thoughts of “getting online”, or of sexual behavior
• Sexual behavior interferes with work, school, family, hobbies, etc…
• Anxiety and irritability when unable to get online.
• Telling your self that you should cut down, or stop altogether
• Experiencing guilt, remorse and shame
• Become defensive when others suggest that you spend too much time on the Internet
• Spending money on internet porn
• Continued consumption of porn despite negative consequences

Pornography is not real. The more one uses porn to gratify themselves, the greater the chance that they will never find true intimacy and real love.

If you need help talk with a trusted friend, parent, or clergy. You cannot do it alone.

I had been smoking marijuana for 2 years but pot wasn’t doing it for me anymore. II was failing school, lost all my real friends–I hated everything. So one night I got 5 Vicodin and was drinking vodka. I remember thinking that if I do this, I may never wake up. It was funny, the thought of never waking up didn’t scare me as much as the thought of facing my life sober. So I took the pills and guzzled the vodka. I didn’t try to die — I just didn’t try very hard to live.
–James a 16 year-old high school student.

Today’s teens live in a stressful and often dangerous world. Easy access to drugs and alcohol combined with the enormous social pressures conspired to create an epidemic of stressed out, depressed teens who routinely “self-medicate” their sadness and low self-esteem. Like amateur pharmacists, some teens eagerly experiment with new drugs, frequently combining them alcohol. This dangerous attempt to alleviate the stress and pain in their lives always creates more problems than it cures. As abuse of drugs and alcohol escalates, so does their risk for overdose. For many depressed teens, drinking and drugging are a slow, quiet suicide.

Causes
Research shows that substance abuse increases the risk for depression. And, conversely, depression increases the risk for substance abuse. Here’s how. All drugs of abuse, including alcohol, act upon the same area of the brain involved in the regulation of mood. Experimentation with drugs or alcohol alters the balance key of neurotransmitters (brain chemicals) in this part of the brain. Regular use of mind altering drugs such as marijuana, cocaine and alcohol cause temporary surge in these neurotransmitters resulting is a short–lived “high.” If the young person is already depressed, the “high” will feel like a vacation from his or her emotional pain. But what goes up must come down — so the highs are followed by dramatic lows and the cycle starts over again. Tragically, most young substance abusers erroneously believe that the solution to their dark moods and life’s problems is to use more drugs or drink more alcohol.

What to do
If you are depressed or abusing drugs or alcohol take heart because these problems are highly treatable but you will need help. Talk with someone who can be objective and honest with you like a parent, trusted friend, pastor or family doctor. Treatment usually involves counseling, medication and 12 step meetings. Whatever it takes–do it. You life is precious and God has a purpose and plan for you.

One of the indications of addiction is the extent to which one’s life becomes organized around using drugs or alcohol. For addicted teens, there is almost always a well-defined sub-culture of friends, associates, parties, and rituals that becomes the center of their social life. Healthy activities that used to capture their imagination such as sports and academics soon become secondary to the “party” culture.”

Helping teens find a new, drug-free social life is no small thing. It’s not as simple as plopping them back into healthy activities. They will need real friends, excitement and purpose for their life. Unfortunately, many lack the social skills and emotional maturity to seek and sustain new friends. Parents must step in and lead.

Healthy recovery groups for teens and young adults are hard to find. As a result, they will have times of loneliness, sadness and boredom as they transition into their new life of recovery.

Here are some tips to help you help your teen:

• If your child went through a treatment program, ask about after-care services and recovery groups in your community. Many treatment centers will assist in finding a 12-step sponsor or 12-step support group.
• Check with your local Alcoholics Anonymous (http://aa.org) or Narcotics Anonymous (http://na.org) about local meetings. Local churches may also have faith-based recovery groups such as Celebrate Recovery (www.celebraterecovery.com/).
• Try to keep him active and engaged by planning fun family activities or weekend trips, or just hanging out with him.
• Find a church or faith community with a vibrant program for teens.
• Acknowledge that recovery is difficult and sometimes “boring.” Ask how you can help today.
• Watch for healthy, drug- and alcohol-free teens or young adults and social events.
• No matter how bored she becomes do not lower the bar by letting her hang out with her old drug-using friends or go to parties where alcohol is available. Stand strong because the risk of giving in is too great.

During illness, good parents instinctively attend to their children’s needs and provide an ample supply of love and comfort. As the child recovers, family life quickly returns to normal.

Unfortunately, it’s not the same when a teen becomes addicted to drugs or alcohol.

Drug and alcohol dependence are chronic, debilitating disorders where recovery is possible, but a cure is not. Some addicted teens require prolonged treatment or multiple stints in treatment to achieve sustained abstinence and return to a productive and fulfilled life. But unlike recovery from strep throat, addicted teens must remain actively engaged in their recovery—perhaps for the rest of their lives. If they do not, relapse is certain.  

Recovery is often a struggle for both the teenager and his parents. In this series, we will deal with social challenges, the emotional challenges, and tips for facing these issues as you support a teen in their recovery.

Find out more about Paul Anderson Family Ministries.

God made us sexual beings, and He created the sexual appetite, through the senses of the body and the imagination of the mind, to be extremely powerful and very pleasing. Consequently, its God shaped boundaries and confinements are necessary to its beauty, enjoyment, and benefit. The sexual trends today are much like a flood overflowing the banks, creating a raging and damaging torrent of emotions, passions, and broken relationships: all with tragic results. The temptations proliferating in our culture, unchecked by the erosion of past societal restraints, are overwhelming for this generation’s teenagers. They need protection more than ever. The culture will never provide it — parents who love their children must.

One could normally say that this stage of life kicks in at puberty. Tragically, however, pedophilia and child abuse introduces this to children in such an evil manner that it can damage their psychological, as well as physical being, for their entire lives. Even a “strong” marriage will be affected by sexual abuse that took place years before when one was a child. Time by itself cannot heal all wounds! But God’s grace can.

With the bad example of some adults, the pressure from peers, the availability of pornography through every conceivable means; the style of dress (or undress), music, attacks on modesty, the educational system, from every direction and every conceivable angle, teens are bombarded with the lie that unbridled sex is something they must experience, or they do not know what it is to “live.” “Experts” whose own children are an example of their lack of expertise, will tell you sexual experimentation outside the boundaries of God’s design is inevitable, so society should accept it and make promiscuity as palatable as possible. Consequently, they push earlier and earlier sex education, how to do it heterosexually and homosexually (either is acceptable), distribution of condoms and birth control, subsidizing abortion, and changing the laws that in the past have protected children. All of this is taking place within our society today.  

It is nearly impossible to live in this world and fully escape the sexual onslaught from every corner: popular television programs, movies, music, language, etc. and the easy availability of it through computers, cell phones, radio, television, magazines, and books. Furthermore, public knowledge of adult activity by prominent people has created an acceptance of a variety of sexual activities outside of marriage as moral. Protecting our children from this onslaught is not an impossible task, but neither is it an easy one. Just as you are vigilant for their safety from physical danger or violence, parents must be vigilant for their sexual purity. However, in this battle, you must never forget, or you can become discouraged too easily: He who is in you and in your children is stronger than he who is in the world. The enemy with all his cohorts and in all his disguises looks most formidable and often undefeatable when we consider the reality of our 21st Century battlefield. But be assured, our God is able to deliver us AND our children from every temptation and every situation. Your VIGILANT faith is required, because your enemy is like a prowling lion hungry to devour his prey. From the moment of your children’s birth, he has his eyes on your children. But then, so does your Heavenly Father.

Never give in to the enemy’s constant “dart” that this is a lost battle. Jesus prayed for His disciples not to be taken out of the world, but to be protected from the evil one while living in the world, and bringing the good news to it. It is possible for our teenagers to live in the world and yet be protected from slavery to sin and the father of lies. God has intended for parents to be the spearhead of their children’s protection. Your example of sexual purity within the confines of your “one flesh relationship” of marriage is the first step in protecting them. It is critical if you are going to lead the fight for your children. If you desire to successfully teach them to be vigilant in guarding their sexual being, their body, the temple of the Holy Spirit, from Satan’s effort to destroy them through sexual immorality, you need to teach them by example as well as instruction. You also need to remember your own experience as a young person: your feelings, your appetite, your urges, your temptations, and your places of safety, so that you can honestly and empathetically communicate with your teen.

At the appropriate times in their lives, you need to be frank in talking with your child and teenager about sex, explaining the truth of God’s words on this matter, and the grave dangers they face if they indulge in the temptations that come their way. What their eyes see, what their senses feel, what peer pressure brings, can send them on a roller coaster whose brakes when weakened provide little or no control over what is set in motion. You need to empathize with your growing child’s predicament as a sexual being who does not yet have wisdom, maturity, or years of experience to appreciate the grave seriousness and consequences of experimenting sexually outside the covenant of marriage. Along with your empathy and compassion, you must communicate with tough love the absolute necessity for you, the parent(s) to be very involved with their protection: what they see and hear, who they spend time with and where they go. No one else will do it for you. It is the parent(s) who bears ultimate responsibility before God. There is potential assistance from the church, from other family, or even adult friends who are on the same page with you; but YOU are the main line of defense. Shirking your duty, puts your child’s life in grave jeopardy.

Consult the pamphlet available through our website entitled: “How Can I Best Pray for My Child?” and then practice putting on the armor of God (Ephesians 6). With your children and teenagers, discuss how you can in practically put that armor on in the face of all sexual temptations.

“I have a child who…appears to be suffering from depression.”

Depression can be triggered initially by almost anything: break up with a girlfriend/boyfriend, guilt over doing wrong, feeling left out by friends, making bad grades. If gone untreated or unchecked, depression can become a very real physiological condition that may require medication.

Depression may appear similar to apathy: depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain that produces very definite behavioral manifestations: changes in personality, listlessness, loss of appetite, life seems to have no meaning, talk of suicide. Be engaged in your child’s life; find out what is the root of the depression.