Is that possible? Is it useful? How do I do it? All those questions come to mind, if indeed, this command concerning prayer even enters your mind. In the course of my pastoral and chaplain ministry I have counseled many couples prior to and after marriage that they ought to pray regularly with one another; yet, frequently find that they are very reticent to do so, and frequently do not. Now that does not even rise to the level of constant prayer, but still proves to be a difficult and ill-practiced event in their lives. Paul’s instruction goes so much further in living out the discipline of genuine faith.

I have written a book for parents on praying for and with their children (available on our website). In it I write that there are no greater prayer warriors to cover these children than their own parents, especially when you take God at His word when he tells you that their enemy is stalking them as a lion stalks his prey to devour it. A serious parent has all the incentive they need to be constantly in prayer when they consider the world, the flesh, and the devil in conjunction with the children they have received from God. But one of the reasons our faith is so faint and tired is that we have not learned the joy or the discipline of constant prayer, nor do you pray for yourself enough.

Recently, I have been reading a book titled The Jesus Prayer (Frederica Mathews-Green), a prayer that arose in the early church to practice continuous prayer and in some church communities has been passed on from one serious believer to another down through the centuries. It is on the surface a simple prayer, yet it is packed with truth; the truth of who He is and the truth of who you are, and it speaks to exactly what you need in every moment and circumstance of life, not just when you feel your situation is precarious or severe. This biblical prayer is found in today’s Scripture above: “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of the Living God, have mercy on me.” This is not telling God the Father, or His Son Jesus anything they do not already know, but it is consistently and constantly acknowledging to ourselves in His presence that we are sinners who need mercy in every moment of life, and constantly reminds us of our previous commitments to be imitators of the One who saves us, helps us, and walks with us. You know as well as I, we are always forgetting who we are and whose we are. At least, our words, actions, and thoughts are testimony to such forgetfulness.

This is a prayer that can be thought (prayed) in your mind even when you are in conversation with others. Very possibly such a thought-prayer will sanctify your part of the conversation to bring blessing and truth into another’s life. And it also guards you from saying something at intense moments which you later regret, even in those situations when God is your only witness. The prayer focuses the need where it belongs; on you! It makes you less the critic who sees the splinters in everyone else, and misses the log in your own eye.

“Lord Jesus Christ, Son of the Living God, have mercy on me!”

Scriptural Basis:

[Jesus said], “But a time is coming, and has come, when you will be scattered, each to his own home. You will leave me all alone. Yet I am not alone, for my Father is with me.” John 16:32
“But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.” Luke 5:16

Application:

Kristopherson focused on it as he wrote “Sunday Morning Coming Down”: that familiar, palpable loneliness which in one way, place, or time or another everyone experiences. Just consider how much of your life, even in a large city, in a family, in a marriage, wherever, you spend alone. That in itself doesn’t make you a lonely person, but it does remind you of your distinct “separateness,” your own inner world; some shared with another or others, much private. And yet there are times when you do experience genuine loneliness, if only a glimpse, or in other cases, much, much more. “Sunday Morning Coming Down” starts off with a sense of physical loneliness, but its burden becomes the heaviest when the awareness of spiritual loneliness kicks in. In his song Kristopherson senses there is something he lost somewhere along the way. In a few longed for moments of his past, he remembers the drawing of his spirit in another direction, but other things always took preference in his choices.

It is spiritual loneliness that most haunts the atheist or agnostic, even as it compels the seeker. In the solely material universe of the atheist, a universe seen through his own presuppositions while ignoring certain glaring evidences, a universe without any external influence or power, without creator or designer, a sense of loneliness eventually engulfs him; deep within there is something, something crucial, something essential that is missing. He isn’t satisfied; he cannot find rest; he is incomplete. Augustine called this unsatisfied, restless, imperfection a God shaped vacuum within every person; a vacuum producing infinite restlessness until it finds rest in the One whose imprint is all over our DNA. 

Sent by His Father, Jesus was unambiguous in proclaiming His identity and His mission. ”I and the Father are One.” “No man can come to the Father except through me.” And in the Gospels He reveals a singular habit in His life: conversation and fellowship alone with His Father! A close friend of mine frequently ministers to career missionaries. One of the common elements he found in them was that their demanding schedule in meeting the needs of those they served precluded them from time alone with God; that is, consistent, significant, and contiguous time alone with the One who called them to be His missionaries in the first place. And since it was not a habit they had ever cut out and protected from the busyness that inundates us all, where to begin and how to use the time? Consider Jesus’ schedule as the needs of the people pressed in upon Him constantly, yet He always found time to get to “lonely places” for conversation and fellowship with His Father. We do not expect the atheist or the agnostic to pursue such a habit, or understand it; nor the seeker to be at such a point. But what of the professing and committed believer? What of the person who professes to be a life-long follower of Christ? If we claim to be imitators of Him, how do we continue to neglect such a prominent habit of His life in ours? Loneliness is not just an experience of the atheist or agnostic, believers know it as well. And it will invade our lives if we do not nurture the habit of time alone with our Father and Savior in places where we cannot be distracted; filling the God shaped vacuum!

There are places where the King James Bible remains superior to the best modern translations and where it conveys a hidden nugget of truth the up-to-date English vocabulary may miss. Thus Philippians 3:20 reads in the KJV, “For our conversation is in heaven, from whence also we look for the Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ.” The word “citizenship” may not at first glance lead us to the thought. While your life is still in this world, how much of your conversation is in heaven. In other words, when you converse and fellowship with the Father and the Lord alone in a “lonely place,” such may be a conversation in heaven. Jesus chose to make it happen regularly. You can as well, if you choose. We do not want the words of “Sunday Morning Coming Down” to be true of us when we can do something about it now: “And it took me back to somethin’, that I’d lost somehow somewhere along the way.” 

Encouragement:

“I need thy presence every passing hour; What but thy grace can foil the tempter’s power? Who like thyself my guide and stay can be? Through cloud and sunshine, O abide with me.”

(3rd verse of Henry Lyte’s hymn, “Abide with Me”, 1847)

Read Sunday Morning Coming Down: Part 1

“These people come near to me with their mouth, and honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me.” Isaiah 29:13

“Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you.” Psalm 63:3

“For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.” Matthew 12:34 

Application:

When we are preparing to give our cat, Coco, a can of wet cat food, she, knowing what is coming, begins meowing like crazy. My wife was saying to her, “Hold your horses! Be patient! It’s coming.” And not being able to interpret every meow, I said maybe she is saying, “Oh, thank you, thank, thank you! You take such good care of me.” One creative cartoonist said that when we talk to our pets, all they hear is “Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah!” Maybe, maybe not. In any case, since we cannot precisely interpret meows and barks we do not always know what our pets are saying back to us. And though we know a whole lot better the language of humans who speak our language, we do not always accurately interpret what they are really saying, especially if the intent of their heart is not known. We know this because the words that pass our own lips do not always conform to the intent in our heart.

The air of this world which we breathe is filled with a mega-abundance of words, yet the Bible clearly reveals to those willing to listen that God pays particular, in fact, detailed attention to the words that pass our lips, even those words formed in thought but not spoken.  And what is more we are told that our words will be judged. We may consider this a trivial measurement to use as a major source of judgment, but the truth is that our words, no matter how few or many, come from what is in our heart; and they reveal the  good or evil which is stored there. (Luke 6:45) King David was so profoundly moved by this that he earnestly prayed: “Set a guard over my mouth, O Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips.” (Psalm 141:3) Would that such a prayer be ours daily!

The philosophy and theology of language taught throughout the Bible in verses like Luke 6:45, teaches specifically that what we speak is simply an overflow from what fills our heart. Consequently, your words taken accumulatively are a picture of who you really are, and they become an accurate evaluation of your entire life. If this truth penetrated your mind, David’s prayer would certainly be yours unceasingly. And if such a prayer were sincere, you would become intent on the matter that fills your heart, knowing that its overflow is what you speak. For such matter to be concentrated on the greatest subject in the universe, the only subject that can fully satisfy, the only subject that will never disappoint, and the only subject  that will be eternally worthy of judgment, it must be God Himself. And you simply cannot attain this apart from personal, intimate time with Him. The nature of life itself in this fallen world is an all-out war to subvert that very thing. Time alone with God, developing a real conversation and an environment to listen to what He has to say to you necessitates a discipline that defies the world where we live. But this is exactly why David explains, “Because your love is better than life….” Without such an appreciation, it will never happen.

 This is the very discipline, at the pinnacle of His earthly ministry, the Lord purposed to convey to His disciples in the Garden of Gethsemane on the night of His betrayal: “Could you men not keep watch with me for one hour? Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing but the body is weak.” (Matthew 26:40-41) This is the discipline of filling the heart, from which come your words, and your entire life is evaluated.

Encouragement:

“Take time to be holy, the world rushes on; spend much time in secret with Jesus alone. By looking to Jesus, like Him thou shalt be; thy friends in thy conduct His likeness shall see.”

(2^nd verse of William Longstaff’s hymn, “Take Time to Be Holy”, 1887)

Scriptural Basis:

“When you spread out your hands in prayer, I will hide my eyes from you; even if you offer many prayers, I will not listen.”
Isaiah 1:15 

Application:

Surely at times it seems like God is deaf and cannot or will not hear my prayer; that He is blind and does not see my situation and come quickly to my rescue. There are those who have sought God in “foxhole” circumstances or in less dire need out of mere spiritual curiosity, and have soon abandoned their quest for lack of an “answer.” While yet others have pursued Him, for what seems like forever,  seeking a specific response to their need and have finally determined He just will not hear, or He is not there.  Whatever the Divine purpose for God’s inaccessibility at your moment in time, He has not been silent in telling His children why and when we are responsible for plugging His ears!

In Malachi 2 it is the condition of our marriage relationship that becomes the barrier to the throne of God. Even though we weep and wail, flooding our prayers with tears, God will not hear when we have broken faith with the partner of our marriage covenant. We have not guarded our spirit in the sacred relationship we have with our spouse in the presence of the One before whom we gave our vows. Our prayers are hindered when a husband is not considerate of his wife, respecting how God made her, and seeing her as a joint heir with him of the gracious gift of life(1 Peter 3:7). In Malachi 1 it is our unacceptable worship of God which in reality is so paltry that we give little more than the leftovers of ourselves, even though we call Him Lord. The words of our mouths do not portray the feelings and actions of our hearts.  The Lord hears the one who is humble in spirit, and contrite in heart, and who trembles at His word (Isaiah 66); who does not choose his own way and relish his abominations. He is deaf to those who will not answer the phone when He calls (66:4), and show no desire to listen to Him.

I have twin nine year old grandsons who in somewhat typical fashion for their age can shut out your voice even though you are standing right next to them when you speak. You have to get a hold of their face, turn it toward you, make eye contact, and then speak….”read my lips.” You know what I am talking about. This is just how we are before our Father God. We do not hear Him even though He is shouting in our ear. Our deafness to God plugs His ears to us (Proverbs 1:28). When we hang on to secret sin in our life and are unwilling to repent and let it go, He tells us He will not hear our prayers (Psalm 66:18). When we show no mercy or compassion to the needs of those around us, He tells us He will not hear us (Proverbs 21:13). Stubborn refusal to hear Him, results in His own deaf ear to you (Zechariah 7:13). The Bible is saturated with God’s patient and persistent instruction on how we choose to close or open His ears. But in reality it is not His deafness; it is ours! One day the courts of heaven will be flung open and some will with dread behold the tragedy of their skeptical attitude toward prayer; while others will stand amazed in wonder that the prayers they persistently brought to the mercy seat were never unheard, forgotten, or discarded; but recorded and treasured forever. As Jesus commanded, “Pray, and don’t give up!”

Encouragement:

“O may my hand forget her skill, My tongue be silent, cold, and still, This bounding heart forget to beat, If I forget the mercy seat!”

(6^th verse of Hugh Stowell’s hymn, “From Every Stormy Wind that Blows”, 1828)

• It is a sin not to pray for them:

“As for me, far be it from me that I should sin against the Lord by

failing to pray for you. And I will teach you the way that is good and

right.” (I Samuel 12:23)

• You should not grow weary or give up in prayer: persevere:

“Then Jesus told His disciples a parable to show them that they should

always pray and not give up.”  (Luke 18:1f)

• When you pray for your child, try to clear your mind from clutter and your heart from selfishness ( or those passions and sins that are so often uncontrolled in our lives):

“The end of all things is near. Therefore, be clear minded and self-

controlled so that you can pray.”  (I Peter 4:7)

• You should pray with faith and trust that God will answer you:

“I prayed for this child and the Lord has granted me what I asked of

Him.” (I Samuel 1:27)

• As busy parents, you can pray at any time for your child: when changing diapers, watching ball games, being a chauffer, etc. However, you should also schedule a regular, hopefully, uninterrupted, quiet time to pray for them:

“Pray at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication.”

(Ephesians 6:18)

• Prayer changes things for good for your children and you:

“The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.”

(James 5:16)

• Your character is developed and reflected in and by your prayer life:

“Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.”

(Romans 12:1-12, see especially vs. 12)

• Do whatever it takes to keep your prayers unhindered before God:

“If I had cherished sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened.”   (Psalm 66:18)

• Since you are passionate about your children, your prayers will

become quite passionate as well; yet always remember who God is

and submit reverently to Him:

“During the days of Jesus’ life on earth, He offered up prayers and

petitions with loud cries and tears to the one who could save Him

from death, and He was heard because of His reverent submission.”

(Hebrews 5:7)

“Not my will, but Yours be done.” (Luke 22:42)

• In all your prayers remember that your tireless interceder in God’s presence is the Lord Jesus who sympathizes with your weaknesses, has been tempted like you, but without sin:

“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with

our weaknesses, but we have One who has been tempted in every

way, just as we are—yet was without sin. Let us then approach the

throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and

find grace to help us in our time of need.” (Hebrews 4:15-16)

I pray that these Scriptural truths will motivate and encourage you to pray for the children God has entrusted to you. By the enabling of the Holy Spirit, may these passages warn you about the enemy, your feelings of frustration and weariness, and your attitude in what you may perceive as God’s silence or lack of answers: at least the answers you expect on your time schedule. God’s answers may be different than what you want or not when you desire them. But will a loving Father give His child a snake or a scorpion? Or will He give him what He knows is best? (Luke 11:11-13) No matter the circumstances, persevere like the widow in Luke 18. You will not regret your perseverance when you stand before the Lord in heaven. When God says to a parent, “Well done, good and faithful servant,” it will most likely be the case that He will turn and say the same to the children He placed in your care: for they will be there with you!

Other children may not profess Jesus as their Lord and Savior and live as though He is until they are older. As parents, our responsibility is to pray the following for our children, persevering in our prayers as we anticipate seeing God’s work manifested in the fruit of their lives:

• salvation
• conviction and repentance of sin
• a heart of flesh and not of stone that is tender toward God
• public profession of faith: confessing Christ before men
• living witness that bears testimony of the Lordship of Christ

We are promised in Proverbs 22:6: “if we train up a child in the way he should go, when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Chuck Swindoll’s interpretation of “in the way he should go” means more than training our children in spiritual virtues. It means discovering their particular calling or “bent.” What has God placed in our child’s personality? What are his or her abilities? What is the “bent” of his or her heart and mind reflecting his or her peculiar gifts? We as parents need to look for his or her “bent” and pray this into reality, so that when he or she grows older, he or she will answer God’s call and be used for His glory.

God has given us covenant promises concerning our home and our children. A covenant has two parts, blessings and curses. God tells us if we obey His precepts and keep His commandments, He will bless not only us but also our children. However, if we do not obey Him, not only we parents, but also our children and future generations, will be cursed instead of blessed. (Genesis 9:9, 17:7, 18:19, Deuteronomy 6, Psalm 103, Luke 1:50, 72-75, Acts 2:39, 1 Corinthians 7:14)

All parents have had fears about losing their children, as when walking in a crowded mall or their innocently wandering away from home. We have worried about accidents that might potentially affect them and sometimes fear their moving far away. This often arises because we fear that we will not see them or our grandchildren as much as we would like. From the time they are infants, we should pray for God’s will in their lives and that He would use them for His glory. That may mean that He will call them to be missionaries in a foreign country. It may mean that God will choose to call them home to heaven at a young age. In any case, we must remember that they are the Lord’s. Our prayers for them should reflect that truth. We must entrust our children back to God. They can be in no better hands.

It is never too early to begin praying for a godly spouse for your child, a life’s partner who would walk with him or her in the faith and be an encouragement to his or her growth in grace. If God has not called your son or daughter to be single, the most important human relationship he or she will have in life is the one in which Christ’s relationship with His bride, the Church, is to be reflected. Marriage is ideally a testimony of the way Christ loves us and sacrificed Himself for His people (Ephesians 5:21-33). Parents know personally how important the relationship of husband and wife is to every other relationship, and to the joy and fulfillment of life. Earnestly asking God to show your son or daughter the best tools of godly discernment in choosing a marriage partner is a critical element in seeking the righteousness of not only your “child” but also his or her children (Psalm 103:17-18). Our children and their children are a treasured object of God’s covenant promises to believing parents. We parents bear a vital responsibility in the development of our children’s discernment in the choosing of a life’s partner. This partner will be the father or mother of our grandchildren, as well as our “child’s” most intimate companion for his or her life. Our praying for this from conception onward will cause your heart and mind to be attuned at the appropriate times to those specific godly truths you can teach and exemplify in helping them grasp and treasure romance, marriage, and family.

Our children have an enemy. He seeks to steal, kill, and destroy the life and the plans that God has for each one of them. This should spur us on to daily lift up our children in prayer to the Father. If you knew that someone was harassing or physically harming your children, you would do everything in your power to protect them. It should be more of our concern to protect their spiritual well-being than their physical health. We parents have the same enemy they do: an enemy who does not want us to pray for our children.

You and I would never send our children out in the cold without a coat. Yet, on a regular basis, we send them out into the world without spiritual armor. In Ephesians 6:10-20, we read about the spiritual armor, which is essential for each member of the body of Christ, regardless of age. I have a dear friend in the Caribbean who never allows his children to leave home without prayerfully placing each piece of armor on them. Because we are often in a rush so we won’t be late, this spiritual exercise sounds a bit tedious. Would you go out or allow your child to leave home naked? The reality of spiritual warfare should cause us to pause and consider the importance of our prayers for our children.

I have a child who…refuses to go to church or participate in family devotionals.

Key verse: Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.”

There is a world of difference between the words “teach” and “train.” Teaching is the verbal imparting of truth, whereas “training” applies those teachings moment by moment, day after day. The dictionary defines “Train: to mold the character, instruct by exercise, drill, to make obedient to orders, to put or point in an exact direction, to prepare for a contest.” As parents, we must walk out that which we say we believe.

Have you trained your child at home or have you left that responsibility to the church? If you have not trained him/her at home, the first step is to ask the child’s forgiveness. Consistently have daily devotionals. After the child responds to these, begin to attend church as a family.

Ultimately, the real reason for rebellion is one of control. It is important that you remember that you are the parent and set the standard for your family. “Choose you this day whom you will serve, but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” (Joshua 24:15)

You need to ask yourself, “Who has control?” It is vitally important for parents to provide clear boundaries and expectations of a child who lives under your roof. No matter how much teens say they do not want rules…they desperately want to know where the limits are and what the consequences will be for disobedience. Teens act out because they have not been consistently corrected when they have been disobedient.