Of the disciples who survived, none betrayed the Lord worse than Peter. And he knew it. At the moment of Peter’s third denial, Jesus looked at him, their eyes met, and the cock crowed. He who had vehemently protested the Lord’s prediction that he of all people would deny Him not once, but three times before that tell-tale sign announcing the dawn, was pierced to the heart of his soul, and went out into a sudden, dark loneliness to weep bitterly.

All the disciples were living in fear, confusion, apprehension, and were like sheep without a shepherd ever since the crucifixion. Twice the risen Lord suddenly appeared to them as they hid behind locked doors in Jerusalem. But in this text of John 21 they had left Jerusalem, probably surreptitiously, for Galilee where Jesus had already told the women the disciples would see him. The setting could not be more vastly different than the city of “peace,” Jerusalem, which had become for them the very opposite in the space of a few horrendous days.

Here the peace and tranquility beside the Sea of Galilee, with the water as smooth as glass as it often will be at the breaking of dawn and the Galilean hills as a backdrop to the beauty, could not be more of a contrast to the turmoil these seven disciples were feeling inside. And add to that the irritation of catching nothing in a whole night of fishing, though fishing was but an abstraction for them then as they dealt with all the unknowns of the previous days. Perhaps it was the aroma of fish cooking on a charcoal fire that first got their attention. In any case they saw a figure on the beach by the fire, who in the early light of dawn called out to them to put down their nets on the other side of the boat. Doing so they immediately pulled in a huge catch of fish; so large, they counted each one to see just how large a catch it really was: 153 John purposefully and precisely tells us.

As they share breakfast with Jesus around a fire on the beach, the same type of charcoal fire with which Peter warmed himself at the time of his last two denials, Jesus asks Peter three times a similar question, “Peter, do you love me more than these.” In Luke Jesus had once taught, “the one who is forgiven little, loves little.” Here, he is telling Peter a corollary to this truth, “the one who is forgiven much, loves much!” The depth of our affection for Christ is inseparably related to the depth of our understanding of that which we have been forgiven. Peter could not have missed the Savior’s point. Having transgressed so deeply with an understanding of his felt “bottomless pit,” he now experienced and understood the depth of grace that drew him out. It was far more than mere words that responded, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.” There is no pit so deep that it warrants suicide, when there is a Savior capable of drawing us out, and placing our feet on solid ground. Christ in you is the hope of glory, not suicide, nor despair.

And no response or assurance of your forgiveness can be more richly healing and fulfilling going forward than the Lord’s spoken mission for every forgiven sinner: “Feed my lambs, tend my sheep, feed my sheep.” Every once miserable soul, forgiven and covered with the blood of Christ, has lambs and sheep to feed; at home, at work, by the way, over the back fence, wherever you live, work and converse. Get your mind off yourself and your own ills. Get your mind and heart on Christ, and begin feeding His lambs and His sheep.   The antidote to suicide can only be one thing, one person…Jesus.

Application:
The old proverb “time heals all ills” describes a prevailing attitude man continually nurses concerning his sins. Perhaps the common saying “out of sight, out of mind” best explains how our minds work in this regard. C.S. Lewis wrote, “We have a strange illusion that mere time cancels sin. I have heard others, and I have heard myself, recounting cruelties and falsehoods committed in boyhood as if they were no concern of the present speaker’s, and even with laughter. But mere time does nothing either to the fact or to the guilt of sin.”(The Problem of Pain)  Jesus goes so far as to say that we must give account even for the careless words we have said in anger, frustration,  jealousy, you name it; not to mention all the sins that exceed careless words. But as time passes we think less and less of the gravity or consequence of those specific sins as they become more obscure in the recesses of our mind, until they are mostly if not completely forgotten. In fact we can be so insensitive to sin even in the actual performing of it that we are unconscious to the truth that we have even sinned; and it is especially so the further in time we are removed from the act.

As Lewis wrote, the fact and the guilt of the sin are not removed by either the passage of time or the resulting loss of memory. The Apostle Paul confirms to us, “For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive what is due him for the things done in the body, whether good or bad.” (2 Cor. 5:10) Our problem is not only falsely relying on time, which we allow to pass without rightly sensing our sin, or doing anything about it, as though the passage of time itself will “take care of it”; our problem is the belittling of sin in the first place and passing it off as unimportant and without consequence as if it can be dealt with “in time” and not immediately.  And because it is so, our estimation of the salvation we have in Christ does not nearly match the writer of Hebrews when he passionately exclaims, “How shall we escape if we ignore such a GREAT salvation?” If the sin, any sin, even if in our estimation is “small,” the salvation we receive in Christ, the cancellation of that sin and its guilt by His blood and sacrifice, is equally small. Consequently, it is not SO GREAT a salvation, for it is unable to even capture our heart and hold it as its greatest treasure. If this is so we cannot truly relate to David when he says, “Whom have I in heaven but You? And being with You, I desire nothing on earth. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” (Psalm 73:25-26)

If we had a biblical sensitivity to the gravity of sin itself, especially to our own sin in all its manifestations, we would keep a much shorter ledger of our sins; we would deal with them more frequently and urgently; we would not let the sun go down on our anger; we would cling to the mercy and grace immediately available to us—namely, “If we confess our sins He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and purify us from all unrighteousness.” Time in this matter is an evil; it allows us to forget without taking our sins to the throne of grace and dealing with them quickly. Keeping a shorter and shorter ledger leads inevitably to becoming more and more like Christ and seeing Him as He is. There is no greater goal.

Encouragement:
“Nothing in my hand I bring, simply to thy cross I cling; naked come to thee for dress; helpless, look to thee for grace; foul, I to the Fountain fly; wash me Savior, or I die.”

(3^rd verse of Augustus Toplady’s hymn, “Rock of Ages Cleft for Me”, 1776)

By Glenda Anderson

If you see where your problems lie, please do not be discouraged. I know the tendency is to think, “I see where I have been a terrible parent. My teenager is a mess, and the situation is hopeless.” No, it is not hopeless. That, if anything, is the underlying message of the Paul Anderson Youth Home (PAYH): hope! At the PAYH, we take troubled young men in whom wrong seeds have been planted. By applying God’s principles to them even at this seemingly “late stage,” we see miracles every day. We see “miraculous transformations!” We see first-hand God’s grace, His forgiveness, and His way of healing wounds and restoring parents to their child and child to their parents. As promised in Joel 2:25a, “God will restore the years the locusts have stolen.”

*Devon’s father was at the end of his rope when he called and begged us to take his son, who was in deep trouble. A wealthy West Coast businessman, he was monetarily able to give his son anything he needed. Two years earlier, Devon was kicked out of public high school for dealing drugs, after which time his father placed him in a well-known drug rehabilitation program. He came back home and soon returned to his old friends and his old behavior. He ended up in a military school and another boarding school before coming to us…each time either expelled or dismissed because of his anger and his refusal to obey the rules.

He did not want to come to the PAYH, but he had no choice. It was either here or jail. Devon was like a lot of our young men. He was angry, manipulative, and mouthy, and he had never been given consistent discipline. He had grown up without clear-cut, set boundaries. He learned, therefore, how to manipulate his mother and father to get what he wanted. He thought he had it made, but he was filled with anger. It is my belief that a child’s internal need for direction and boundaries is all tied up with his understanding of “love.” When the parent says “No!” something inside that child feels secure and loved. When discipline is missing, and a child is empowered to do whatever he/she wants an inner rage begins to form.

This rage was certainly true in Devon’s case. Of course, the fact that his father left his mother for another woman did not help the situation. There was an unconscious barometer inside Devon that longed for someone to always be there for him. Here at the PAYH, he would have temper tantrums, and we would deal with them each time. His behavior is not acceptable! He was made to pay the consequences of his behavior and we were consistently tougher on him than anyone had ever been in his life.

I will never forget the day I was sitting in my den and heard shouting outside. I opened the door to see what was going on and out in the yard stood Devon and Eddie Burris. Eddie’s stature is rather intimidating, though at heart, he is a gentle giant. Well over 300 pounds, his voice is as large as he is. I could hear him sternly say, “Devon, come here!” Devon kept backing away, knowing all too well his behavior had gotten him in trouble. However, he resisted Eddie, “No! I’m not coming over there.” Eddie replied, “Devon, come here!” This went on and on. Devon resisted, but Eddie stood his ground. Finally, Devon weakened and made his way toward Eddie. Suddenly, his anger melted, and he fell into Eddie’s strong arms… and Eddie held him for a long time while he cried.

A young man like Devon desperately needs a strong father who will love him, affirm his worth, and hold him accountable whenever he falls. Devon soon began to flourish here at the PAYH and became a real leader among the guys. His father saw such positive change in his son that he began to examine his own life. I will always treasure seeing them truly embrace each other for the first time in their lives with sincere love and genuine forgiveness.

*Name has been changed

Anderson’s Applications:
I was nine or ten years old and it was 10 minutes to midnight on New Years Eve. At midnight sharp the fireworks would go off on the top of Pikes Peak. Unfortunately, I was sitting in a position that did not give me a view of the top of the peak, despite the large window in the front of the church; depending on where you were sitting you would have a very good view of the top. But I was not sitting in such a spot! I just had to get outside in time I thought to myself. I was in a New Years Eve prayer service in my church where my father was the pastor. It was the conclusion of an evening of games, food, and family activities and now we were “praying in the New Year.” The program called for the prayer meeting to end at 12 midnight so all could go outside and view the fireworks. They usually lasted only 10 minutes or so because the top of the peak this time of year was bitterly cold and snow bound. A group of men climbed it annually to set them off and it was not conducive to a long show. Unfortunately for me, that is, for my immediate desire, an older man in the church began praying about 5 minutes to 12 and continued through the midnight hour until, you guessed it, 10 after 12. I was sitting next to my Mom, the preacher’s wife, with absolutely no chance of a quiet escape. I have never forgotten it, as you can see.

If he had just prayed the Lord’s Prayer, I would have gotten to see the show! But I was so intent on him finishing his prayer that I remember absolutely nothing of what he prayed that night. He could very well have prayed a prayer that followed the pattern of the Lord’s Prayer, for the Lord’s Prayer is both a prayer unto itself and a pattern of how we ought to pray. I am not sure when I forgave him, I just know I have. The old saint died a few years later and I know His prayer was far more important in the grand scheme of God’s plan than my seeing fireworks on New Year’s Eve. I have seen them many times since. Still it strikes at the heart of this petition, “Forgive us our debts, our trespasses, our sins, as we forgive our debtors, those who trespass against us, those who sin against us.” Yes, this illustration is a trivial matter. But we all should know from our own experience that trivial matters escalate into firestorms and grievous, sometimes permanent actions on our part or of another in retaliation. Forgiveness is not our first instinct. It is not even our strong suit. Forgiveness is not so ingrained into our hearts that it is our “natural” response. But it ought to be.

The major reason it isn’t is we do not hold dear our own gracious forgiveness by God. We quickly and conveniently forget that we are by nature wretched sinners and hypocrites, unable even to keep our own standards, much less God’s. This petition of the Lord’s Prayer is so important to Jesus that immediately upon instructing His hearers with this prayer of how we should pray, he goes back to this specific petition in further explanation: “For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” Pretty strong language! But I think we let those words go right in one ear and out the other. We still let trivial matters and offenses send us through the roof. It is not our nature to forgive, but it needs to be. If we want the cleansing freedom and peace of forgiveness for ourselves, we must learn to be quick to forgive: forgive in the moment of offense. This absolutely requires personal humility, which arises from treasuring God’s forgiveness above all offenses against you in word or action. Jesus said, “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” And again, “Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.” Both are principles of genuine humility. It is the proud and selfish who choose not to forgive and live miserably because of it.

Encouragement:
“Heavenly Father, I need to relearn forgiveness. Refresh it in my mind and spirit today and every day.”

The now infamous and often parodied line from an old movie went, “Love means never having to say you’re sorry.” I imagine this means if you really love someone you will never do or say anything to them you regret, or for which you need to apologize. We know that is nonsense, since we all are sinners and have not attained perfection. And besides, even when we do the “right” thing the other person may not think so and still expect an apology. It is so much more difficult to say, “Love means I will always forgive you, no matter what the offense.” Before you say, “that’s not so hard,” consider the Amish parents and families of six slain little girls, and four seriously wounded, by a crazed man who took them hostage in their one room school house in recent days. Forgiveness may be easy to talk about or tell your children to practice one with another. In reality, it is far more difficult to do yourself, much less expect your children to forgive because you tell them.

Forgiveness is not easy to teach because it must be exemplified. You cannot just tell your children to do it. You have to live it out before them. And that is exactly what these Amish parents did in Lancaster County a few weeks ago. Having been devastated by the sudden and violent taking of their beloved daughters’ lives, they not only verbalized forgiveness of the killer himself, but reached out to the wife and family of this man who committed the heinous act. They took his wife and children food and provisions. They invited them to their own child’s funeral. They attended his funeral. They said in essence, “How can we say we believe in a Savior who forgives us our own sins, and whose own blood washes away those sins, and not forgive one another, even one who has slain our children.” The example of forgiveness, by those who could not reverse this result of demonic behavior, will not easily be forgotten, especially in the Amish households of Lancaster County.

The very words of their Savior were on their minds even as they lived out their forgiveness: “For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” (Matthew 6:14-15) “Our blood-red sins He will wash white as snow,” said one Amish parent. “Forgiveness is a choice, but it is not an option if we want to be saved,” he said. This same parent went on, “I feel the most sorry for the person who did it, and I’ll tell you the reason why because he can’t get forgiveness no more, what’s done is done. After death, there is no more change.” Two eternal lessons stand out in his words: the necessity of forgiveness for our own well-being and salvation, and two, the finality of death in changing our eternal destiny. Jesus puts the second this way, “Work [now] for the night is coming, when no man can work.” (John 9:4) In other words, now is the time to pursue salvation and sanctification, because the day is coming for each of us when we can do nothing more to change our eternal home. Both the practice of forgiveness for our salvation and sanctification, and the finality of change at death are vivid reminders of the seriousness of both living and teaching our children forgiveness.

Every day presents opportunities for forgiveness. This is as true for us, as for our children. A father and mother can practice forgiveness toward each other before their children. Without it, it does little good to tell them to do what you cannot or will not do yourselves. Parents must forgive neighbors, extended family, even strangers before their children, if they expect their children to take hold of forgiveness. Do not be fooled by their childishness! Children observe and take in far more than you anticipate. They often will not mention it or speak of it, but they are learning from you all the time. Keep that truth in the forefront of your mind. Learn to love it rather than fear it. We fear our children will follow in our footsteps, because we know our walk is sinful. How much better to walk honestly and forgivingly, because we know our example will not go unnoticed in their eyes. We ought to love the fact that our children learn best from us.

Speak about the vital importance of forgiveness to your children, for their own well-being and especially for their relationship to their Savior and Heavenly Father. Memorize the verses of Scripture that speak about forgiveness, so that they are on your tongue when occasions arise to encourage them to forgive. And use the example of how you forgave one another as parents in something they observed, to remind them that they are to do the same. You may even tell them of a personal occasion of forgiveness in your life they did not observe, which will encourage their own thinking.

The preeminent example, which is the foundation for any forgiveness within our own hearts, is the truth that we ought to forgive, because God in Christ first forgave us. What kind of forgiveness do you think He gives us? Temporary or permanent? Paul exhorts us to forgive as the Lord forgave you. (Colossians 3:13) This must be at the heart of what we teach our children about this, because there is no other example that is as powerful or life changing. And for us to forgive our life must be changed. Forgiveness is difficult. It is deeper than words. It is backed by actions. Consider again the Amish parents and their response in actions.

Forgiveness that moves beyond the initial response into the weeks and months that follow is true forgiveness. It is like God says he treats our sins when He forgives us. He buries them in the depths of the sea. He separates them from His sight as far as the East is from the West. In other words He completely removes them and remembers them no more. His definition of forgiveness must be ours. We too often say we forgive, and then weeks later bring up what we forgave. True forgiveness buries it, even though in our own hearts we still remember, perhaps for a long time. But we do not bring it up, because it was forgiven.

The act of forgiveness is not only a benefit to the one you forgive, it is the medicine necessary for your own heart. An unforgiving heart is a sick heart. It will lead to bitterness, that if not rooted out will fester into infection and kill you; if not physically, spiritually. Your spirit will die. There are too many “dead men walking,” and you do not want to be one of them. Warn your children about the results of an unforgiving heart. The earlier in life they learn its truth, the healthier they will be to serve God and others while they are young. There is an indefatigable strength in forgiveness that cannot be denied. It will overcome evil and the evil One. Forgive as He forgave you!