If I were to categorize the biggest behavioral problems I see in teenagers today, there are seven: Anger, Apathy, Deceit, Depression, Disrespect, Laziness, and Rebellion. The latter, of course, is the core behavioral problem out of which all the others emanate. Satan rebelled against his Creator, and refused to submit to God’s ultimate authority. He rose up and asserted himself to wrestle God for control. Isaiah 14:14 describes his real motivations:

“You said in your heart, ‘I will ascend to heaven; above the stars of God I will set my throne on high.’”

This is exactly what a problem child does: he/she stands defiantly against his/her parents and refuses to submit to their authority and in doing this, are trying to put himself/herself above their parents authority. When the parent fails to hold him/her accountable, the child takes over and begins to rule. It is at this point the family begins to disintegrate…and will continue to do so until the child is stopped or until the family is destroyed. Even in that scenario, what the child has learned is the power he/she is able to wield. Our only hope is for parents to wake up and take back their dominion to be THE AUTHORITY in the home. Parental control is a God-given responsibility. Our children have been entrusted to us to mold, to care for, to protect, and we are not taking those responsibilities seriously when we do not maintain order in the home. God tells us to “take the land” and “possess it.” What else could this “land” refer to except that which is ours…our families?

Too often we see stories in the media of adults who have neglected their children, or have looked on, and in some cases helped their children and their friends get drunk, high, andhave sex.We also hear stories aboutteachers in the classroom who engage in inappropriate relationships with their students.The question that comes to mind is: who is teaching who?At times, it appears that the youth are teaching adults what is “acceptable” or the “norm.”Adults seem more concerned about “fitting in,” being “liked,” or “one of the crowd.”More often than we would like to see, parents are not acting like adults, much less parents.

A couple of years ago, because of Alec Baldwin’s celebrity status, we were exposed to his tirade directed at his 11-year old daughter.In the voice mail he left for her, he not only cursedher but also told her how she had humiliated him for the last time.In his anger, he talked to her as if they were the same age.Lindsay Lohan told her father to stay away from her family.Paris Hilton’s family recently pleaded that their daughter did not deserve to go to jail.Does Britney Spears recognize the impact her actions have on her young sons?Actions and reactions from the world of celebrities have inundated classrooms as well as our living rooms.

Are we forgetting how to teach our children to look both ways before they cross the street?Do we as parents recognize that our actions, words, and responses are teaching and shaping our children?What are you teaching your children everyday?Do you recognize what the internet, music, television, friends, teachers, and other adults may be teaching them?Do you take the time to watch, hear, and observe the internet, music, television, friends, teachers, and other adults?

As parents, we must be good teachers taking time to listen, engage, and challenge our “students.” Remember your favorite teachers when you were growing up?What was it about them that you liked?In many ways, parenting gives you an opportunity to emulate your favorite teachers.They may have been your parents, a 10th grade history teacher, a best friend, or your spouse.Whoever they were, they made an indelible impression on you.This is what you as a parent must do with your children.You must make a significant investment in the “education” of your children; otherwise, it will be the culture that invariably shapes them.It is a challenge: it is time consuming: it requires you to do homework often when you least want to do it.But, it is the greatest investment of your life.If you don’t, how else will they know not to just look one way before crossing the street?

By Glenda Anderson

The Myth
 

One use of the “rod” in early shepherding practices is that periodically the shepherd would examine each sheep, by opening the fleece with the rod and running his hands over the body. A good shepherd will feel for any signs of trouble such as tumors or parasites. Similarly as good parents, we should be ever ready to use our “rod of discipline” to keep our young ones in line, as well as take the time to carefully examine each child for areas in his/her life that will cause him/her danger if not removed.

To detect troublesome behaviors requires us to become much more alert to every facet of our child’s life. God made us parents for a purpose, and we need to have our antennae up all the time. If, for example, you sense your child is having a conversation with someone he/she should not, I believe it is our responsibility to listen. Our child belongs to us, and we must be diligent to guard him from dangers. That may mean checking up to see what he/she is doing on the Internet, reading his/her diary, reading notes thrown away in the trash can, reading music lyrics that he/she is listening to, and randomly checking his/her bedroom and vehicle. Though they may seem extreme, take whatever measures necessary to protect your child.