I have a child who…refuses to go to church or participate in family devotionals.

Key verse: Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.”

There is a world of difference between the words “teach” and “train.” Teaching is the verbal imparting of truth, whereas “training” applies those teachings moment by moment, day after day. The dictionary defines “Train: to mold the character, instruct by exercise, drill, to make obedient to orders, to put or point in an exact direction, to prepare for a contest.” As parents, we must walk out that which we say we believe.

Have you trained your child at home or have you left that responsibility to the church? If you have not trained him/her at home, the first step is to ask the child’s forgiveness. Consistently have daily devotionals. After the child responds to these, begin to attend church as a family.

Ultimately, the real reason for rebellion is one of control. It is important that you remember that you are the parent and set the standard for your family. “Choose you this day whom you will serve, but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” (Joshua 24:15)

You need to ask yourself, “Who has control?” It is vitally important for parents to provide clear boundaries and expectations of a child who lives under your roof. No matter how much teens say they do not want rules…they desperately want to know where the limits are and what the consequences will be for disobedience. Teens act out because they have not been consistently corrected when they have been disobedient.

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About the author

Drew Read
Drew Read graduated from the McCallie School before he earned his Bachelor of Arts degree from Denison University. He was a stockbroker in Cincinnati before relocating to Vidalia in 1994 where he accepted a position at the Paul Anderson Youth Home (PAYH). Since September of 1994 he has been a member of the PAYH staff where he has served as a teacher, headmaster, and Administrator. After completing his Master of Business Administration from Emory University in 2004, Drew was named the Chief Operating Officer. Drew has written numerous articles and a booklet entitled Dangerous Trends impacting your child. He has spoken at national conferences regarding the role of the family and has worked with teenagers and their families since 1994. Drew is married with two children.

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