It is often said that this generation of youth is the lost generation.  But if youth today are the lost generation, then what does that say about the generation that raised them?  All of us could use some perspective or points of advice.

So, here are 11 points of perspective as we raise our children:

1. Time
a. Children spell love T-I-M-E
b. Be deliberate…intentional about how you are going to spend time
with them
i. This may be any number of things like reading to or attending
their school functions.  Time is not just a one week vacation
to the beach.
ii. Work is not more of a priority than your family…it is merely
an excuse. Remember that if you succeed at work and fail at
home, your failure in one will always impact the success in
the other.
c. Take time to see what they see and hear. Not where you want to go
and what you want to see. Parenting forces us to lose a lot of “self.”

2. Set an example – be genuine…how you live, how you act, what you do…
it matters. Children hear and observe far more than we imagine. They are
patterning their lives after something, what pattern are you setting?

3. Let them express how they feel
a. It is okay for your child to be scared. They can be scared of ghosts,
school, a new environment, people, getting older, dying, relationships,
and any number of things. It is not what you know, but it is
what they know. Let them respectfully and freely express those
feelings with you.

4. Express how you feel
a. About them
b. How their actions made you feel
i. Remember when you correct your child, that it is their actions
you are correcting, not they themselves that you are correcting

5. Listen
a. Respect is earned so earn the right to be heard

6. Stability is safety which comes from:
a. Protection and consistency

7. Praise and encourage
a. Offer more positives than negatives.  And be optimistic…
it’s contagious.

8. Don’t make idle promises or threats:
a.  No one can truly ground their child for long periods of time so do not
say something you do not or cannot practically keep.

9. Control your own emotions
a. While it may feel this way, it is not about you!

10. Be aware of their age not yours
a. Remember, it is not what you know; it is what they know
i. Don’t expect a 9 year old to act like a 15 year old in their
maturity…they simply cannot

11. Appreciate that they are different from you:
a. It is not your goal to create a mini-me. Embrace and encourage your
child’s skill sets, even if they do not match up with your own.
b. Sit back and watch them
i. Most of us learn by watching.  Watch your child as it will better
help you understand their temperament and abilities.

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About the author

Drew Read
Drew Read graduated from the McCallie School before he earned his Bachelor of Arts degree from Denison University. He was a stockbroker in Cincinnati before relocating to Vidalia in 1994 where he accepted a position at the Paul Anderson Youth Home (PAYH). Since September of 1994 he has been a member of the PAYH staff where he has served as a teacher, headmaster, and Administrator. After completing his Master of Business Administration from Emory University in 2004, Drew was named the Chief Operating Officer. Drew has written numerous articles and a booklet entitled Dangerous Trends impacting your child. He has spoken at national conferences regarding the role of the family and has worked with teenagers and their families since 1994. Drew is married with two children.

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